This is where I tell you about the revelation that God is love. =]
In their album "Songs for Lent," the band New York Hymns says, "'Deny thyself and take thy cross,' is the Redeemer's great command" (The Cross is Laid Upon Jesus [Station 2]).
John Mark Comer, pastor of Solid Rock Church in Portland, Oregon, said in his sermon, "Good Sam," that Jesus calls us - "Where are we going, Lord?"
"To the cross."
What the heck does that mean? Deny yourself and take your cross? Follow Jesus to the cross? Well, God is showing me in a very detailed way exactly what that means. It means put EVERYONE before yourself - even if it means you die. No, ESPECIALLY if it means you die. Put others in front of yourself. It WILL crucify you. Do it anyway - because that is what love is.
Love is a verb. It is "loaded language," if you want to be technical. (Mrs. Ray, you would be proud =]). Love doesn't mean that you feel nice things about someone. And thank God above for that, right? Human beings are so flighty. We are so emotional. We are flighty with our emotions. There is no way we could always feel nice things about someone. Let's be honest, people are irritating - there would be no such thing as true love if that is what love was.
What? You want love to be a noun? Well fine. Let's let love be a noun, then. So what is love as a noun? I'll tell you, but don't be offended when I say "I told ya so," when you figure out that love as a noun takes a lot of action. =]
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
So if we are called to strive to be like Christ, and Jesus is God, and according to 1 John 4:16, God is love, then we are called to be love. We are called to love like Christ loves us.
So we have to BE patient. We have to BE kind. Even when we are being stepped all over. Even when we feel devalued. Even when we are being crucified. That is what love is, and that is what I am learning through this Discipleship Training School.
I believe God is calling me to love and be love to people. Well naturally, I guess I have to learn what love is in order to portray it to others. So God, in His infinite wisdom and grace, is leading me on a journey to figure out what love is. And in the process, I am discovering who He is... and it is the most rewarding, most challenging, most painfully beautiful experience I have ever had. I am a glutton for punishment when I ask Him to never let this journey come to an end. I'm crazy to ask for that, wouldn't you agree? If you knew my circumstances in detail, you would agree. Trust me on this one. But another thing I'm learning that I'll have to blog about some other time, is that Jesus absolutely DELIGHTS in and does miracles through radically foolish worship. Paul did say, after all, that when he was out of his mind it was for Christ, and when he was in his right mind it was for the church. So, with my life, offered as a sacrifice - as worship - I will be foolish and ask God to teach me patience. I will be foolish and ask God to teach me kindness, humility, grace. I will be foolish and ask God to teach me how to be like Him.
And it will hurt.
And it will be beautiful.
And I will love it.
And I will hate it.
And God knows,
And He loves me even still.
So, Jillian, take up your cross. Love people even when they murder you. Be like Jesus - you won't regret it.
(Sorry this blog goes all over the place. My blogs generally have a tendency toward chaos...)
